Insecurity

After being back from Hong Kong, mental condition, I used to have before going to HK, comes back. The insecurity, the low self-esteem, and the lack of confidence. I think it has something to do with women, who I tries to please, who I hope to be close with. My social life in NCTU is always a sausage fest. It's a comfort zone I missed during exchange in HK, however, now a place I want to get away.

The Regular Depression

There is always a period of time, usually in the middle of semester, during which I'd get really pessimistic, and lack motivation. I don't know why this phenomenon keep happening, even thought I know it seriously drags me down. The moister, always-clouded days and the mosquito-haunting nights just worsen my mental condition. I started to stay up very late in order to feel tired enough to completely ignore the mosquitoes. I hope after I wrote this log, I can regain my motivation. Actually, speaking of which, maybe it's time to exam the current motivation.
I think I know what I have to do, or do I?
More pain, more gain.

Mature

After getting along with Alex Leontiev, I start to realized the real meaning to be mature:
1)responsible for your choice
2)manage every aspect of your own life. From career, profession, social life to relationship
These are cliches which father, teachers has told me long long time ago. But I never listened, did I?
Dealing with others, keeping contact with someone, taking emotional frustration etc are equally troublesome compared to solving the equation, understanding a technique etc.

Real maturity is to face the troubling issues, instead of escaping it.
I tends to escape all these problems by diving into novels, movies, and most effective, video games.
That is why I kept finding a game to make myself less anxious. But that is just a way to escape, isn't it?
I think I would build up my emotional endurance in the same way I trained my physical endurance: push the limit bit by bit and endure the pain. When facing the issues, when I am allowed to choose fight or flee, choose fight more often. Sure it would make you uncomfortable, painful for a while. But this is how you grow, how you prepare for the times when you are not allowed to flee.

And stay positive, think positive. Extract the sense of achievement in every events, which will give me the motivation. For example: At least I succeed in...

不經一事不長一智
Experience is the mother of wisdom

How to Train Your Dragon

Since the movie got released, it has been a hell of while. And I have already watch this movie for like thousand times. However each time I watched it, it made me touched and kinda sentimental. The reason is simple: Touching story-line with humorous story-telling and the excellent animation,and, most important of all, for me, the music. The music is so characteristic that it injects energy into well-animated scenarios, and touches the true emotion buried deep inside your mind, drive a grown man like me to drop a tear before I even know it.


About the voice acting, at first, I didn't like how Hiccup's sound is like. Not a hero-type. However, after getting into the story, I realized that it is on purpose. And the voice acting is how all the humors are presented. The sarcastic conversations are the funniest.Actually it seems that the sarcasm is one of remarkable features of animations by DreamWork. Speaking of DW, you cannot forget Shrek. That make sense now. Hiccup is just like Shrek, but tinier.

the story is a cliche, not much surprise. The excellent part is the characters and the relationship between them. Each characters has his/her unique features which make him/her memorable. Hiccup is kind of whinny, while Astrid (the blonde) is aggressive. And Toothless is wit like a cat. (somehow I think Toothless IS a cat in flying reptile form.) There are geek-like character (the fat) and the bully guy. The most interesting scenario is the part that Hiccup and toothless built up their friendship. 

Rapunzel

Rapunzel
it's a Germany fairy tale about a girl, kind of over-protected by her custodian Mother Gothel in the tower, met and fell into her Mr Right who accidentally dicovered Rapunzel and then started her new life. 

Meet Rapunzel

Disney remakes it as an 3D animation,first 3D princess, titled Tangled.The story is quite different from the original version which happens mostly inside the tower and not realated to the Royal(Rapunzel is merely a rural girl in the original version). In Tangled, Rapunzel is a princess who was kidnapped and raised since her infancy by Mother Gothel who wanted to own magical power of her blondy hair. She was living a life with ignorance of outside world until a Crown-thief Flyn Rider ran into her home when escaping the guards. Sparked by this outsider, Rapunzel decided to take the step, having an adventure of her own against Mother Gothel's will, to make her own dream come true.

Rapunzel and Little Mermaid are quite alike.

Just like all other Disney princesses, Rapunzel has all virtues: Pulchritude, Kindness, Positiveness etc. Rapunzel has her unique dual-personality. In some situations, she fights herself like demon and angel on the shoulders ,and murmurs to herself just like having conversation to someone else all the time! And since she grew up outside the palace she does not behave in "Standard Princess" style. Instead, she is an energetic girl with strong curiosity just like other teens of her age in real society. Some naive reacts in some occasions makes a laugh or two. Her personality cheers people: thugs sing for her, a palace horse bow for her, the village dance for her and even a rebellious boy changes for her. Rapunzel is lovely. Moreover, her persistence to see those lanterns, and her courage to take the step resonates people. The adventure she decides to go on is a symbolic optimism, encouraging you and me to dream and making us confident enough to pursuit our own happiness. The role this girl plays is to remind people of the beauty of  Goodness. 

Besdies Rapunzel herself, other elements in world of Tangled are fascinating for me.

First, the Golden Flower symbolizing Reborn is the core of the tale. At beginning of the story, the origin of the Golden Flower has been mentioned. It's from the sun. Sun has important meaning to this world: the kingdom's symbol is Sun. The flower is the only thing that has magical power in this world. Even Mother Gothel, looking like a witch, was just a normal person, taking advantage of power of the flower. And our princess Rapunzel, the girl of destiny, carries its power in the form of her Blondy hair. To awke the power of Sun, you have to sing a very beautiful incantation :

Flower Gleam and Glow
Let Your Power Shing
Make The Clock Reverse
Bring Back What Once Was Mine
Heal What Has Been Hurt
Change The Fate Design
Save What Has Been Lost
Bring Back What Once Was Mine
What Once Was Mine

Mother Gothel is a very interesting character whose characteristics has dual personality,too. but not like Rapunzel, her duality is made on purpose, to keep Rapunzel in her own life.She seems a parent of kindness, but deep inside her heart there's still selfishness and evilness exists. The intention to be forever young somehow made her a good mother,t reating Rapunzel like her own. But in conversations we can see Mother Gothel keeping showing her self-concern and trying to make it up aftermath by saying " I'm just teasing you."

Mother and Daughter

 What I am going to emphasize is although Mother Gothel is actually mean person, she really loves Rapunzel, raises Rapunzel healthily and well-educated, and most important of all, she teaches Rapunzel right morals, so Rapunzel wouldn't become another Mother Gothel cunning and selfish.( another possible explanation may be Rapunzel learns morals from books and Mother Gothel didn't interfere, or you might say, did not care. Good reslut anyway.) I have this thought because I believe Love is Mutual. So when Rapunzel sings I have my mother's Love, I believe that Mother Gothel has put her real emotion into this relationship. At the end of story, Rapunzel makes a deal with Mother Gothel to save  Eugene's life. The deal is that  things will be just like the way it was. And Mother Gothel compromise shows that she can't live without a daughter. Despite living centuries, Mother Gothel is a normal person with mother instincts.